Isolation
by Is0lde
Summary: Songfic. Andrew and Jonathan have fled to Me-hi-co and Andy misses Warren. A lot. The lyrics are from "Lemon tree". [Andrew x Warren]


**Isolation**

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_(author's note: Songfic yay! The lyrics are from "Lemon Tree". Yeah. Umm… this is basically Andrew thinking about his current situation and Warren – of course – and the whole loneliness issue.)_

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_I'm sitting here in a boring room  
__It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon_  
_I'm wasting my time, I've got nothing to do  
__I'm hanging around, I'm waiting for you  
__But nothing ever happens - and I wonder…_

Andrew sighed as he looked out the greasy, unwashed window. It was yet again one of those days. One of those days when nothing seemed to happen, and everything just kind of stood still.

It was raining. How many times a year did it rain in Mexico? It was like a logical impossibility.

Speaking of Mexico, it was boring him to death. And Jonathan wasn't exactly making things easier. Sure, he'd been a great companion on this rogue trip they'd been making together – right up until they'd reached the dirty motel where they were currently staying. Then he'd begun babbling about how he shouldn't have trusted Warren in the first place, and how he should have listened more to his parents, and so on and forth. Blah, blah, blah.

Naturally, Andrew had also thought about what his life might've been like if he hadn't met Warren. He'd wondered many times. But he didn't regret having done so, like Jonathan did.

Then again, Jonathan hadn't exactly had the same relationship with Warren as he had.

Even though he'd heard from Anya the vengeance-demon that Willow had flayed Warren alive, and that he was dead, Andrew was still half expecting him to come in through the door any given minute. He was looking out the window for two reasons. One, he had nothing better to do, and two… what if he were to see the familiar shape of Warren, rain coat on, come walking towards the door?

_I'm driving around in my car  
__I'm driving too fast, I'm driving too far_

How they'd ended up out in the outskirts of this godforsaken town that no one had ever heard of except for the population itself was beyond him at the moment. In his mind, he blamed Jonathan, ignoring the fact that it had been he himself who had insisted on them going there in the first place.

_I feel so lonely, I'm waiting for you_

Short Round could really be as interesting as a potted plant if he wanted to. Andrew had figured that out days ago. Also, he had the worst imaginable morning mood. Many a time the last few weeks, Andrew had seriously considered strangling the boy, just to rid himself of the daily annoyance. But he hadn't.

He wasn't a murderer.

_I'm sitting here, I miss the power  
__I'd like to go out, taking a shower  
__But there's a heavy cloud inside my head_

Warren had promised him they'd be together, and that they'd all become gods. Not the stupid white-bearded absent kind, though – more of the mighty sole rulers kind. And Andrew still believed Warren had intended to keep his promise all along, only things had got in the way. The Slayer, for example. There had been other stuff too, but the Slayer had definitely been a considerable thorn in the side all along. Andrew didn't resent her, though. She'd kept him and Jonathan safe when Willow went veiny. Also, she had seemed so nice and interesting back in high school. No, Andrew had a hard time hating her. He had a hard time hating anyone.

He was well on his way with Jonathan, though.

"Hey, where'd you put the pack of soda cans?"  
"Right next to the television set, _el_ _stupido_." Andrew didn't even turn his head to look at Jonathan when he was talking to him. Why bother, he figured. Many things felt like that nowadays for him. Like they didn't really matter.

It wasn't like he was depressed or anything. Quite the opposite; he'd always been pretty optimistic about things, and hey, any place that had warmth and a roof that wouldn't fall down on them was okay. But something was missing, and Andrew felt it distinctly. Something that had been occupying not only his thoughts but also his entire existence, for such a long time that he didn't feel like a whole human being anymore.

_I feel so tired, put myself into bed  
__Where nothing ever happens…_

Lying next to Jonathan in their shared bed at night only made things worse. It was like, he had human warmth right there beside him, but it wasn't the right one. It wasn't Warren. It was Jonathan. And it hurt him like hell.

That was why insomnia had pretty much taken him over, and when he slept, he dreamed about things he couldn't understand. Blurred visions of darkness and shadow.

And every now and then, of course… Warren.

_Isolation is not good for me_

Every time he saw the light of a new day, he wondered how much more of that he'd get. How many more days he would have before he either decided to end it all himself, or died from mere boredom and starvation. 'Cause it wasn't like they dined at restaurants. Hey, they were fugitives, and not so very rich ones.

_I'm stepping around in a desert of joy  
Baby anyhow I'll get another toy_

Sometimes, when despair overruled his common sense, Andrew wondered if maybe his theory was right. Maybe Warren had escaped Willow's wrath and survived.

But then, why wasn't he there already? Why hadn't he come for Andrew? Had he not been faithful enough?

When he felt as low down as was humanly possible, Andrew reasoned that Warren must've become tired with him and found another… friend to hang out with. That was when he felt like knives lacerated his heart and shredded it.

After that, there was nothing left but the silence and the hurt.


End file.
